When in recovery it can feel like you are constantly taking 1 step forward, 2 steps backwards. You may find that all you can see are the negatives, the "failures", the bad days, the new things/fears you try to face but don't succeed at straight away.
This can be known as a way of thinking called discounting the positives. I particularly struggled with this type of thinking. No matter how well I was doing or how much progress I was making all I could see were the things I wasn't achieving or the negatives. Thinking this way can make you feel low and depressed which may hold you back. It can make you feel like giving up. The truth is, the positives are there, you're just choosing not to see them.
Here are a few ideas for learning to focus on the positives:
- Start a gratitude book: At the end of every day write down all the positive things you can remember, it can be both eating disorder related (trying a new food) and non related such as a hug from a friend. You'll start to see there are lots of things every day that are positive and to be grateful and happy for.
-Sticker poster: I particularly like this one. Draw a picture of your eating disorder...however you want it to look, a person, a colour, a symbol, anything. Maybe write words over it that you associate with your eating disorder such as feelings it causes. Put it on your wall or somewhere you can see it. Everytime you overcome an eating disorder rule or do something positive to fight your eating disorder, put a sticker over the picture. Gradually as you add more stickers your eating disorder will be covered by all the stickers/positive steps you've taken forwards. When you feel like you're 'failing' you can look at it and see how far you've come and how many times you've managed to fight it.
-Write a list of all the reasons you have to be happy. Even if you feel like you don't have any keep thinking and I'm sure you'll find some you just have to allow yourself to see them. Do you have good friends? A nice house? A job you like?
See the positives, feel happier, and you're eating disorder will lose a bit more power and you are taking another step towards your rainbow.
Love Jasmin x
Sunday, 31 October 2010
Thursday, 21 October 2010
How to stop a lapse becoming a relapse...
First of all I'd just like to share with you that on Saturday I have my beat ambassador training day so as of then I shall be a beat ambassador :D
So, for me I have always felt prepared to prevent lapses and relapses from happening. I know my triggers and so when I am faced with them I know that I am vulnerable to my eating disorder at those times and can fight to prevent a lapse starting. I hope it is similar for you and that you are able to identify your triggers because it's so important in being able to fight your ed. But what if you do relapse? What if you can't prevent it? What do you do then?
Lapses are a normal part of the recovery process. Sometimes we can fight with every bit of energy we have but they can come from nowhere. That was the case with my lapse. I was the happiest I've ever been and it happened so suddenly I had no idea what caused it. I was prepared to prevent one but when it happened I had no idea what to do next. A lapse can be stopped and it doesn't need to become a relapse. But to do that it is a good idea to have a plan incase you are struggling to regain control. Here is some idea's that I learnt from my experience but there are lots of other things that you may find help you.
- First try to identify the cause. If it isn't obvious then perhaps try to write a list of all the possible causes. Then challenge them. By this I mean, what would be the best way to deal with that problem instead of using the eating disorder.
- Make sure you have support, talk to your friends and family.
- Talk to someone other than friends and family. Perhaps a teacher or your therapist if you have one. As great as my friends and family are I often feel guilty for letting everything out to them and I dont want to worry them. But by talking to someone with less emotional connections I feel I can talk more openly without the guilt and it gives me a greater sense of relief.
- At a moment when you are thinking more rationally try to write a food plan that you could try to stick to.
- Gain support from help lines or recovery forums such as the beat messageboards.
- Use distractions
- Surround yourself with people that make you happy.
- Make sure there's food in the house you feel comfortable around but also enjoy - foods that you will be tempted to eat but hopefully won't trigger a binge or make you too guilty.
- Be gentle with yourself. Lapses are normal so don't beat yourself up as it may only make things worse.
- Take precautions - go to the doctor, warn friends and family.
- Remind yourself of reasons to be recovered.
- Spring clean your life - Do you need to catch up on sleep, have some leisure time, catch up on work, de-stress?
- Take each day at a time.
- Do recovery activities.
- Put yourself back in 'recovery' mode as much as possible.
- Go back to your therapist if you still have one.
- Use positive affirmations.
- Take a break and make your health your number one priority.
I hope that helps.
Jasmin x
So, for me I have always felt prepared to prevent lapses and relapses from happening. I know my triggers and so when I am faced with them I know that I am vulnerable to my eating disorder at those times and can fight to prevent a lapse starting. I hope it is similar for you and that you are able to identify your triggers because it's so important in being able to fight your ed. But what if you do relapse? What if you can't prevent it? What do you do then?
Lapses are a normal part of the recovery process. Sometimes we can fight with every bit of energy we have but they can come from nowhere. That was the case with my lapse. I was the happiest I've ever been and it happened so suddenly I had no idea what caused it. I was prepared to prevent one but when it happened I had no idea what to do next. A lapse can be stopped and it doesn't need to become a relapse. But to do that it is a good idea to have a plan incase you are struggling to regain control. Here is some idea's that I learnt from my experience but there are lots of other things that you may find help you.
- First try to identify the cause. If it isn't obvious then perhaps try to write a list of all the possible causes. Then challenge them. By this I mean, what would be the best way to deal with that problem instead of using the eating disorder.
- Make sure you have support, talk to your friends and family.
- Talk to someone other than friends and family. Perhaps a teacher or your therapist if you have one. As great as my friends and family are I often feel guilty for letting everything out to them and I dont want to worry them. But by talking to someone with less emotional connections I feel I can talk more openly without the guilt and it gives me a greater sense of relief.
- At a moment when you are thinking more rationally try to write a food plan that you could try to stick to.
- Gain support from help lines or recovery forums such as the beat messageboards.
- Use distractions
- Surround yourself with people that make you happy.
- Make sure there's food in the house you feel comfortable around but also enjoy - foods that you will be tempted to eat but hopefully won't trigger a binge or make you too guilty.
- Be gentle with yourself. Lapses are normal so don't beat yourself up as it may only make things worse.
- Take precautions - go to the doctor, warn friends and family.
- Remind yourself of reasons to be recovered.
- Spring clean your life - Do you need to catch up on sleep, have some leisure time, catch up on work, de-stress?
- Take each day at a time.
- Do recovery activities.
- Put yourself back in 'recovery' mode as much as possible.
- Go back to your therapist if you still have one.
- Use positive affirmations.
- Take a break and make your health your number one priority.
I hope that helps.
Jasmin x
Sunday, 10 October 2010
Pot of Gold...
Here's a poem I'd like to share with you of mine...It's still a bit of a work in progress in a few places but its what came to mind.
I sigh in relief as each moon arrives
I got through the day, I fought and survived.
Counting each day that God's by my side
I did it again, her rules I defied.
The whispers are there, they persist I obey
But courage defends me and shows me the way.
Fear becomes present as I wake to each day
My strength grows inside me as her essence decays.
At times I may worry that one day she'll win
But the power is mine to not let her in.
I was taught as a child that good destroys sin
All I need is the hope that tomorrow will bring.
It may possess sadness, panic or stress
But I've got the tools to sort any mess.
Freedom, happiness, joy and success
They're all within reach if her voice will shout less.
My faith is on going in the power I hold
I accept myself wholly, I will not fit her mould.
Life feels too good when I'm free from her hold
I've fought for this rainbow and I'm keeping my gold.
Love Jasmin xxx
I sigh in relief as each moon arrives
I got through the day, I fought and survived.
Counting each day that God's by my side
I did it again, her rules I defied.
The whispers are there, they persist I obey
But courage defends me and shows me the way.
Fear becomes present as I wake to each day
My strength grows inside me as her essence decays.
At times I may worry that one day she'll win
But the power is mine to not let her in.
I was taught as a child that good destroys sin
All I need is the hope that tomorrow will bring.
It may possess sadness, panic or stress
But I've got the tools to sort any mess.
Freedom, happiness, joy and success
They're all within reach if her voice will shout less.
My faith is on going in the power I hold
I accept myself wholly, I will not fit her mould.
Life feels too good when I'm free from her hold
I've fought for this rainbow and I'm keeping my gold.
Love Jasmin xxx
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