Dear Jasmin....love your body

I wanted to share with you a letter I wrote as a recovery project. I'm writing from the point of view of my body. It's a really good idea to help you try to listen to your body and really think about what you're putting it through so hopefully you'll try it too. If you're body could talk what would it say to you?

Dear Jasmin
I just want you to know how it feels when you treat me the way you do. I know you can’t exactly help it and you know deep down that what you are doing to me is wrong but you do have a choice to stop it if you could just find that strength that I know you have.
I don’t know what to do with myself. I can never prepare myself for what you are doing to do to me because it is always changing. Sometimes you fill me with goodness and I am thankful for that because it allows me to function properly, to be filled with energy, and then I can do good things back for you like producing the chemicals you need to feel happy. I am able to feel peaceful knowing that I am not about to suddenly break down and can allow you to sleep peacefully in return. My muscles feel strong and I can cope with the pressures you put me under when dancing and allow you to dance to the best of your ability. I have everything I need to look after every bit of you even down to your hair, skin and nails making you look healthy and feel good about yourself. But when you don’t feed me properly I can’t do these things. Like a car with no fuel I do not have the energy and begin to slow down. If you ignore these signals and push me to keep going I will start to break down. Sometimes you fill me with so much that it hurts and I don’t know what to do with it all. You purge which confuses my hunger signals and I know that confuses you too because I am unable to give you messages properly on what your body needs.
Sometimes you give me so little I don’t know how I keep going. I feel like I barely am and that I will give up any moment but I try to keep fighting for you. But I want you to realise how hard that fight is. I feel limp and lifeless. Everything slows down within me because I don’t have the energy to keep it going. I try so hard to keep everything within going that I lose so much connection to the world outside. Everything is just there, a world behind a translucent screen that I want to be part of so much and I know you do to but I can’t see it clearly enough or feel or hear it enough because I’m surrounded by this bubble of pain, sadness and weakness that lack of food brings. I am there in a moment of time lifelessly, going through the motions, not really there.
I like exercise. It can make me feel energised and it helps me to release chemicals that can make you happy. It can help me move properly and gives me lots of strength. It is good for my blood and my heart but in certain amounts. Too much and it has the opposite affects. When you push me too far I don’t have the energy to allow you to feel happy. Even when you feed me, you are using more than I have so again I begin to shut down. I have to take energy from other places to keep going such as your muscles which is taking away my strength. My heart is put under more pressure than it can handle because the more I take from my muscles the weaker my heart gets. One day it will give up.
I know this isn’t how you want to feel. You want energy. You want to feel healthy and happy and I can give that to you if you let me. I can’t keep going this way much longer.
Love...your body

Stay strong everyone
Love Jasmin

Guest Blogger....Maintaining a positive attitude through illness

Here is a post that Eric Stevenson very kindly offered to share with through the clouds about maintaing a positive attitude through illness which I definitely agree with! My negative attitude about relapsing ended up actually causing my relapse and I'm sure more of you can understand that. Ever since my own recovery and through reading different books I have become very pro positive thinking and I think it can change your life dramatically and especially help you recover from your eating disorder. Here's what Eric has to say....

Individuals struggling with any kind of serious illness are prone to anxiety and depression. These are difficult problems to overcome, and can sometimes even cause enough stress to exacerbate the original illness. The good news is that the reverse is also true – having a positive attitude has been shown to help with recovery and mitigate the side effects of both illness and treatment. Staying positive is a difficult but important goal when faced with sickness.

There is no single mindset or approach that will work for everyone. Some people may take comfort in learning everything there is to know about their condition so that they can plan in advance. Others might find this amount of information overwhelming, and instead prefer to take it one day at a time. One man who followed the former strategy is popular science author Stephen Jay Gould. He was diagnosed with mesothelioma, an aggressive form of cancer that usually has a survival rate of 9 to 12 months. But he didn’t let himself be discouraged by that figure, instead focusing on the fact that his otherwise good health and positive attitude gave him the best chance to survive. He lived with mesothelioma symptoms for another 20 years before passing away from an unrelated cancer.

This is not to say that Gould’s positive attitude is the only thing that helped him beat the odds. Rather, his famous essay “The Median Isn’t the Message” is an example of one man finding hope in an unusual place: statistics. His story illustrates the uniqueness of the human spirit in finding ways to remain positive in the face of a frightening situation. Even for those facing illnesses far less immediately threatening than the symptoms of mesothelioma, maintaining a good attitude can have real, tangible effects on day-to-day life.