Monday 19 November 2012
Saturday 1 September 2012
Food for thought....Indian Style.....
Hello wonderful people....
So.. I have just returned from India!! Hence the lack of posts in the last few months. It was the most incredible experience I've ever had and it made me so grateful to be recovered. Could I have travelled with my eating disorder... probably not... or at least it would have been very hard. I was able to try new exciting foods and wasn't scared about whether or not I could exercise, or weigh myself, or fast etc etc.
But what if you're planning to go travelling and do still have an eating disorder. Here's some tips/facts for travelling India with an eating disorder:
1. Before travelling anywhere it's probably best to look up the traditional food of that country. In India, it is very carb based. If you're a vegetarian then don't worry because a lot of people there don't eat meat for religious reasons so there are A LOT of vegetarian restaurants. The good thing about carbs like rice and roti (kind of like a wrap) is that they are low in fat and very filling. I would feel so full I didn't feel the need to snack between meals. Avoiding carbs in India is not easy. The best way to cope is to ask for small portions and have more vegetables.
2. Spices speed up the metabolism... so Indian food will actually help with this if you can handle the heat!
3. If you purge then perhaps avoid the spicier food!
4. Unless you go shopping for binge food it is usually less available. You have to be very careful with where you buy food because you don't want delhi belly! So this limits your sources for food which will hopefully help to prevent binges.
5. Know your limits. Indian people, especially the mums like to feed you, A LOT. But it is ok to say you've had enough. I had to do that a lot. I knew eating too much may make me feel uncomfortable so I had to learn to stop when I felt I'd had enough.
6. If there are very specific foods you eat then perhaps check before you go that you are able to buy it there or take it with you. There are quite a few places that serve western food... but be careful of salads in some restaurants!
7. Something I struggled with was sometimes feeling hungry. The shops don't exactly have 'healthy snacks'. There were healthy meals or junk food. So I would buy boxes of cereal bars so that if I really needed something I had them near by.
8.In India they seem to like to eat very late at night. If you feel uncomfortable with this then perhaps tell people you would like to eat earlier. If I couldn't get out of eating late I would just eat smaller portions so I didn't go to bed with such a full stomach.
9. Most of the food is very healthy and low in fat... so don't panic! I was there for 2 months, ate whatever I wanted... and my weight remained the same!
10. Let it motivate you to recover so you can let go and enjoy the food!
I'm sure I'll think of more things you should know so I'll let you know if I think of them.
Hope you're all well...
Lots of Love
Jasmin xx
So.. I have just returned from India!! Hence the lack of posts in the last few months. It was the most incredible experience I've ever had and it made me so grateful to be recovered. Could I have travelled with my eating disorder... probably not... or at least it would have been very hard. I was able to try new exciting foods and wasn't scared about whether or not I could exercise, or weigh myself, or fast etc etc.
But what if you're planning to go travelling and do still have an eating disorder. Here's some tips/facts for travelling India with an eating disorder:
1. Before travelling anywhere it's probably best to look up the traditional food of that country. In India, it is very carb based. If you're a vegetarian then don't worry because a lot of people there don't eat meat for religious reasons so there are A LOT of vegetarian restaurants. The good thing about carbs like rice and roti (kind of like a wrap) is that they are low in fat and very filling. I would feel so full I didn't feel the need to snack between meals. Avoiding carbs in India is not easy. The best way to cope is to ask for small portions and have more vegetables.
2. Spices speed up the metabolism... so Indian food will actually help with this if you can handle the heat!
3. If you purge then perhaps avoid the spicier food!
4. Unless you go shopping for binge food it is usually less available. You have to be very careful with where you buy food because you don't want delhi belly! So this limits your sources for food which will hopefully help to prevent binges.
5. Know your limits. Indian people, especially the mums like to feed you, A LOT. But it is ok to say you've had enough. I had to do that a lot. I knew eating too much may make me feel uncomfortable so I had to learn to stop when I felt I'd had enough.
6. If there are very specific foods you eat then perhaps check before you go that you are able to buy it there or take it with you. There are quite a few places that serve western food... but be careful of salads in some restaurants!
7. Something I struggled with was sometimes feeling hungry. The shops don't exactly have 'healthy snacks'. There were healthy meals or junk food. So I would buy boxes of cereal bars so that if I really needed something I had them near by.
8.In India they seem to like to eat very late at night. If you feel uncomfortable with this then perhaps tell people you would like to eat earlier. If I couldn't get out of eating late I would just eat smaller portions so I didn't go to bed with such a full stomach.
9. Most of the food is very healthy and low in fat... so don't panic! I was there for 2 months, ate whatever I wanted... and my weight remained the same!
10. Let it motivate you to recover so you can let go and enjoy the food!
I'm sure I'll think of more things you should know so I'll let you know if I think of them.
Hope you're all well...
Lots of Love
Jasmin xx
Tuesday 15 May 2012
The roots that ground me...
My roots grow from every experience. Like an ageing tree, as each day passes me by I grow into a more wonderful person, if I am able to let my spirituality, creativity and spontaneity fly free.
Every fall, every knock back, every storm and every dark moment aids my roots of strength, resilience and power to grow. Every moment of peace, beauty, and happiness nurtures my roots of faith and love. Every challenge and opposing force I face increases my roots of determination and courage.
I am a soul, no more and no less than any other soul that has lived. I possess the same potential as every great philosopher, scientist, and other role models I choose to admire.
Knowledge and realisation of this power can allow me to break free of all attachment, misidentification and unnatural emotions that have in the past hindered me. Instead my ability to love unconditionally, open my arms to the law of attraction unquestionably, express myself unfearfully and just be me spiritually will be unlimited.
Jasmin x
Thursday 10 May 2012
Anorexic dreams...
Have you ever had an anorexic dream? It's not something I've come across before or read about so I don't know how common they are... but it's something I've experienced. I'm writing about them because despite having been recovered for quite a while now, I've had 3 in the past week!
In case you've not had one and are wondering what an anorexic dream is I suppose the best way to describe it is through a description of my own dreams...
Dream 1 - I'm in a dance class. People are standing up and being given a number based on how thin they are and they are then put in a line based on those numbers from smallest to biggest. I was left out and when I made my teacher aware she gave me a number which was the lowest and put me at the small end which I was happy about. Then a girl turned up who was late and she was given an even lower number and put before me. This annoyed me. I was still at the very small end but I didn't care.... I had to be the smallest!!
Dream 2 - I'm in a sort of group therapy situation but it's not for eating disorders. We had to keep a food diary for a week and then present it to the group. We had to present it on a board including the number of calories for meals etc. I wanted mine to be lower than everyone else's. No-one else had an eating disorder so naturally my calorie intake was lower but I wanted it to be A LOT lower. I wanted to shock people.
Dream 3 - I used to have an 'ana buddy'... we never really competed but we supported each other. I've not spoken to her in years since I started recovery. In this dream we met again and we started racing each other to get somewhere. We agreed we had both recovered but there was still a sense of needing to be the thinnest and competing against each other so by being together again our anorexia was triggered.
Hopefully you get the idea. I was thinking about why I've had so many in such a small period of time and this is my theory...
While we have our eating disorder, it is our way of coping with big parts of life. When something happens in our life, we use our eating disorder to avoid difficult feelings etc. The problem is that our mind becomes used to this. So when we recover, we might not get urges anymore to use our eating disorder but our mind still wants to when we face difficult situations. In the past week I finished my degree. I have also been a bit stressed about a few things and been very busy. I suppose in the past this kind of week would have triggered my eating disorder. This time however I am recovered so I haven't felt the need to use it but part of my brain is still connected to that coping technique. Perhaps the dreams are my brains way of trying to use my eating disorder to cope without me actually restricting, binging, purging etc.
This may seem a lot safer than actually relapsing. However, the problem is when I remember the dream in the morning. It awakens all of these thoughts of being the smallest, the thinnest and restricting. How do you avoid this? We can't control our dreams can we?
I think the best thing to do in this situation is try to stay completely focused on being healthy. I know it is easier said than done but in the past week I've tried to ignore these dreams and thoughts. I've told a close friend about them and my psychologist, but otherwise I've tried not to think too much about them. I've considered why I've had them and I feel confident it is because of the week I've had but that is no reason to act on them. When I am awake I am coping well with what life throws at me so why let my dreams affect me. I think the best thing to do is to let it out and then let it go. Dreams do not make us who we are and they cannot hurt us.
Jasmin x
In case you've not had one and are wondering what an anorexic dream is I suppose the best way to describe it is through a description of my own dreams...
Dream 1 - I'm in a dance class. People are standing up and being given a number based on how thin they are and they are then put in a line based on those numbers from smallest to biggest. I was left out and when I made my teacher aware she gave me a number which was the lowest and put me at the small end which I was happy about. Then a girl turned up who was late and she was given an even lower number and put before me. This annoyed me. I was still at the very small end but I didn't care.... I had to be the smallest!!
Dream 2 - I'm in a sort of group therapy situation but it's not for eating disorders. We had to keep a food diary for a week and then present it to the group. We had to present it on a board including the number of calories for meals etc. I wanted mine to be lower than everyone else's. No-one else had an eating disorder so naturally my calorie intake was lower but I wanted it to be A LOT lower. I wanted to shock people.
Dream 3 - I used to have an 'ana buddy'... we never really competed but we supported each other. I've not spoken to her in years since I started recovery. In this dream we met again and we started racing each other to get somewhere. We agreed we had both recovered but there was still a sense of needing to be the thinnest and competing against each other so by being together again our anorexia was triggered.
Hopefully you get the idea. I was thinking about why I've had so many in such a small period of time and this is my theory...
While we have our eating disorder, it is our way of coping with big parts of life. When something happens in our life, we use our eating disorder to avoid difficult feelings etc. The problem is that our mind becomes used to this. So when we recover, we might not get urges anymore to use our eating disorder but our mind still wants to when we face difficult situations. In the past week I finished my degree. I have also been a bit stressed about a few things and been very busy. I suppose in the past this kind of week would have triggered my eating disorder. This time however I am recovered so I haven't felt the need to use it but part of my brain is still connected to that coping technique. Perhaps the dreams are my brains way of trying to use my eating disorder to cope without me actually restricting, binging, purging etc.
This may seem a lot safer than actually relapsing. However, the problem is when I remember the dream in the morning. It awakens all of these thoughts of being the smallest, the thinnest and restricting. How do you avoid this? We can't control our dreams can we?
I think the best thing to do in this situation is try to stay completely focused on being healthy. I know it is easier said than done but in the past week I've tried to ignore these dreams and thoughts. I've told a close friend about them and my psychologist, but otherwise I've tried not to think too much about them. I've considered why I've had them and I feel confident it is because of the week I've had but that is no reason to act on them. When I am awake I am coping well with what life throws at me so why let my dreams affect me. I think the best thing to do is to let it out and then let it go. Dreams do not make us who we are and they cannot hurt us.
Jasmin x
Wednesday 25 April 2012
A whole year!
The other day it was a whole year since I last purged. Since then I've not wanted to purge once! Recovery IS possible and this proves it. If I can manage it then so can you. It has taken a lot of courage, faith and strength to do it but if you want to be better enough then you'll do whatever it takes and I promise it is worth it in the end.
That is all for today.
Love a very happy Jasmin
Hope you're all staying happy too!
xxxxx
Tuesday 3 April 2012
The darkest hour is just before the dawn.
Hey wonderful people,
I just finished reading The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho... if you haven't read it then I really recommend it... it's such a beautiful book!
I'm telling you this because I came across a bit of it that I really loved as a quote and want to share it with you....
"Before a dream is realised, the Soul of the World tests everything that was learned along the way. It does this not because it is evil, but so that we can, in addition to realising our dreams, master the lessons we've learned as we've moved toward that dream. That's the point at which most people give up. It's the point at which, as we say in the language of the desert, one dies of thirst just when the palm trees have appeared on the horizon."
We can look at this from a recovery perspective... After months/years/decades of our journey to recovery (the dream) things can seem to suddenly become difficult again (such as a relapse or a very difficult/emotional situation that has the potential to cause a relapse). The world is not trying to be evil and put us through even more pain but it is putting everything you have learnt in your recovery journey to the test. It may seem easy to give up and allow the eating disorder to take over once again. But if you hold on that little bit longer you will get through to the other side where you are able to reach your dream knowing from your test that you have learnt the skills along the way needed to keep you there.
Hope you're all ok
p.s. since my last blog..... I'm doing great... food NOT an issue :)
Love Jasmin
I just finished reading The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho... if you haven't read it then I really recommend it... it's such a beautiful book!
I'm telling you this because I came across a bit of it that I really loved as a quote and want to share it with you....
"Before a dream is realised, the Soul of the World tests everything that was learned along the way. It does this not because it is evil, but so that we can, in addition to realising our dreams, master the lessons we've learned as we've moved toward that dream. That's the point at which most people give up. It's the point at which, as we say in the language of the desert, one dies of thirst just when the palm trees have appeared on the horizon."
We can look at this from a recovery perspective... After months/years/decades of our journey to recovery (the dream) things can seem to suddenly become difficult again (such as a relapse or a very difficult/emotional situation that has the potential to cause a relapse). The world is not trying to be evil and put us through even more pain but it is putting everything you have learnt in your recovery journey to the test. It may seem easy to give up and allow the eating disorder to take over once again. But if you hold on that little bit longer you will get through to the other side where you are able to reach your dream knowing from your test that you have learnt the skills along the way needed to keep you there.
Hope you're all ok
p.s. since my last blog..... I'm doing great... food NOT an issue :)
Love Jasmin
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