Christmas exercise programme!

First of all I just realised that I had already done a post on the rules of normal eating so sorry if you read it twice.

Moving on, it's nearly christmas...wooo! I LOVE christmas.
Of course christmas can raise a lot of issues when it comes to food, family etc. For me food has never been the main issue at christmas. For some reason the last couple of years no matter how bad my eating has been leading up to christmas (which is usually bad because october to december for some reason seem to be the months I struggle most)I always seem to relax about food a bit more as soon as its christmas. I'll admit this has sometimes lead to a panic after christmas because of wanting to lose weight but the main thing is I refuse to let food ruin my favourite time of year.
I think part of why it becomes less of an issue is because I tell myself I'm not going to worry. I wish I could do that all year round! I'm off from college so I don't worry about having to wear a leotard for a while. I know that if I try to control food it is going to ruin my christmas as well as my families and with so much food being around I am more likely to binge and purge rather than restrict which could possibly cause weight gain anyway. If I actually allow myself to eat what I want I am less likely to binge and won't actually want to eat all the time. Of course I still have issues over christmas and my relationship with food doesn't miraculously fix itself for a month but I seem to focus less on losing weight and more on relaxing and getting through christmas without constantly worrying about my ED.

However, one issue I do have over christmas is exercise....
As a dance student I'm used to exercising a lot. So of course I want to exercise over christmas still because I need to keep my fitness up. But then there's the fact that it's easier to not worry about food if I'm exercising. Over exercising is never a problem for me except for christmas so this year I decided I should prepare myself for this problem in advance and I thought it might help some of you to.
I'm going to make an exercise timetable. I'm going to decide what type of exercise I'm going to do on what days and how long for and make sure I give myself rest days.
Hopefully I'll be able to stick to this and not get obsessed.

Hope you're all ok and not worrying too much about christmas
Love Jasmin

The Rules of "Normal" Eating

I have mentioned that I am currently reading the above book by Karen R. Koenig, although slowly as I am super busy with assessments coming up! But I thought I'd share with you what she says the rules of "normal" eating actually are.

She says that "normal" eaters:

1. Eat when they are hungry or have a craving
2. Choose foods they believe will satisfy them
3. Stay connected to their bodies and eat with awareness and enjoyment
4. Stop eating when they are full or satisfied

It's good to know what we are aiming for! Of course normal eating is different for everyone but this is the general idea.

Love Jasmin x

My Carb challenge...the results!

Ok, so I've been trying to have some form of complex carbs everyday for a few weeks now and the good news is that it has helped with my weight a lot. It's pretty much stayed the same and stopped fluctuating so drastically which is good and proves my theory about complex carbs and my weight. I now feel safer about eating carbs and have found that I do actually enjoy them sometimes so there's no reason to avoid them in the future.

Moving on, I have a new quote for you that I found in a book called 'The Power of Concentration' by Theron Q. Dumont:

"You alone can decide when the turning point will come. It is a matter of choice whether we allow our diviner self to control us or whether we will be controlled by the brute within us. No man has to do anything he does not want to do. He is therefore the director of his life if he wills to be."

The book is about gaining success through concentration but I thought it was a good recovery quote.

Love Jasmin x

My Carb Challenge

Ok, so I don't really like carbs. It's not even the whole carb myth thing that bothers me because after working with my dietician that doesn't scare me so much now. I just don't like complex carbs...rice, pasta, etc. I don't like the taste or texture. I'm ok with toast but I don't particularly like sandwiches so I rarely eat bread. And I can never be bothered to cook potatoes so unless I go home and my mum cooks them for me I don't have them. The main things I will have is porridge, cereal or maybe a bagel sometimes for breakfast.

My dietician put me on a diet plan over a year ago that involved eating more carbs in a way that I wouldn't gain weight. I tried it and infact lost weight but didn't stick to it as well as I should purely because of my dislike for those foods.

However, when I came back to uni in september I started to eat a lot more carbs. I was more relaxed around food and wanted to eat bigger meals because I needed the energy so I started eating more carbs. Again I found I lost weight. My exercise had increased because I was back at uni and study dance so it could partly be due to that but even so if my calories were increased I would have only expected my weight to remain the same. In the past month however I have had less carbs and my weight has been fluctuating all over the place.

Complex carbs are an important part of our everyday diet (I will do a separate post on this another time). I know I should be eating more of them. I am also interested to see if eating carbs continues to stabilize my weight in the way it has in the past or even cause weight loss as my dietician always seemed to think it was possible and so far he has proved to be right.

At the weekend I bought a recipe book with ideas for carbs so that I can find recipes I actually enjoy to make me want to eat carbs. Every day this week I am trying to have complex carbs of some form other than at breakfast. Saturday - Rice, Sunday - Bread, Today - Rice. I shall continue for the week to see how it affects me and hopefully start to enjoy carbs. I shall let you know what happens!

Jasmin x

The Rules of "Normal Eating"

The Rules of "Normal Eating" is a book written by Karen R.Koenig. I bought it yesterday and already love it.

We go into recovery hoping to come out the other end with somewhat "normal" eating habits. At least that's what I wanted. But what is "normal"? Normal is different for everyone but here are some of the rules in the book. Normal eaters:

- Eat when they are hungry or have a craving
- Choose foods they believe will satisfy them
- Stay connected to their bodies and eat with awareness and enjoyment
- Stop eating when they are full or satisfied

Something she wrote which I particularly liked is the following:

"I think of myself as a "normal" eater about 90-95 percent of the time. Because of my dysfunctional relationship with food for three-plus decade, I accept that I might never eat like someone who never had an eating problem. And that's fine with me. I'm like a person who has learned a second language and speaks it fluently but with a slight accent, or someone who has been injured and walks with a barely perceptable limp. I don't expect to be perfect."

I believe that full recovery is possible. However I don't think this means your relationship with food has to be perfect. It is important to expect this and don't beat yourself up for any residual habits or thoughts you might have after recovery.

Hope you're all ok.
Jasmin x

Finding the positives...

When in recovery it can feel like you are constantly taking 1 step forward, 2 steps backwards. You may find that all you can see are the negatives, the "failures", the bad days, the new things/fears you try to face but don't succeed at straight away.

This can be known as a way of thinking called discounting the positives. I particularly struggled with this type of thinking. No matter how well I was doing or how much progress I was making all I could see were the things I wasn't achieving or the negatives. Thinking this way can make you feel low and depressed which may hold you back. It can make you feel like giving up. The truth is, the positives are there, you're just choosing not to see them.

Here are a few ideas for learning to focus on the positives:

- Start a gratitude book: At the end of every day write down all the positive things you can remember, it can be both eating disorder related (trying a new food) and non related such as a hug from a friend. You'll start to see there are lots of things every day that are positive and to be grateful and happy for.

-Sticker poster: I particularly like this one. Draw a picture of your eating disorder...however you want it to look, a person, a colour, a symbol, anything. Maybe write words over it that you associate with your eating disorder such as feelings it causes. Put it on your wall or somewhere you can see it. Everytime you overcome an eating disorder rule or do something positive to fight your eating disorder, put a sticker over the picture. Gradually as you add more stickers your eating disorder will be covered by all the stickers/positive steps you've taken forwards. When you feel like you're 'failing' you can look at it and see how far you've come and how many times you've managed to fight it.

-Write a list of all the reasons you have to be happy. Even if you feel like you don't have any keep thinking and I'm sure you'll find some you just have to allow yourself to see them. Do you have good friends? A nice house? A job you like?

See the positives, feel happier, and you're eating disorder will lose a bit more power and you are taking another step towards your rainbow.

Love Jasmin x

How to stop a lapse becoming a relapse...

First of all I'd just like to share with you that on Saturday I have my beat ambassador training day so as of then I shall be a beat ambassador :D

So, for me I have always felt prepared to prevent lapses and relapses from happening. I know my triggers and so when I am faced with them I know that I am vulnerable to my eating disorder at those times and can fight to prevent a lapse starting. I hope it is similar for you and that you are able to identify your triggers because it's so important in being able to fight your ed. But what if you do relapse? What if you can't prevent it? What do you do then?

Lapses are a normal part of the recovery process. Sometimes we can fight with every bit of energy we have but they can come from nowhere. That was the case with my lapse. I was the happiest I've ever been and it happened so suddenly I had no idea what caused it. I was prepared to prevent one but when it happened I had no idea what to do next. A lapse can be stopped and it doesn't need to become a relapse. But to do that it is a good idea to have a plan incase you are struggling to regain control. Here is some idea's that I learnt from my experience but there are lots of other things that you may find help you.

- First try to identify the cause. If it isn't obvious then perhaps try to write a list of all the possible causes. Then challenge them. By this I mean, what would be the best way to deal with that problem instead of using the eating disorder.
- Make sure you have support, talk to your friends and family.
- Talk to someone other than friends and family. Perhaps a teacher or your therapist if you have one. As great as my friends and family are I often feel guilty for letting everything out to them and I dont want to worry them. But by talking to someone with less emotional connections I feel I can talk more openly without the guilt and it gives me a greater sense of relief.
- At a moment when you are thinking more rationally try to write a food plan that you could try to stick to.
- Gain support from help lines or recovery forums such as the beat messageboards.
- Use distractions
- Surround yourself with people that make you happy.
- Make sure there's food in the house you feel comfortable around but also enjoy - foods that you will be tempted to eat but hopefully won't trigger a binge or make you too guilty.
- Be gentle with yourself. Lapses are normal so don't beat yourself up as it may only make things worse.
- Take precautions - go to the doctor, warn friends and family.
- Remind yourself of reasons to be recovered.
- Spring clean your life - Do you need to catch up on sleep, have some leisure time, catch up on work, de-stress?
- Take each day at a time.
- Do recovery activities.
- Put yourself back in 'recovery' mode as much as possible.
- Go back to your therapist if you still have one.
- Use positive affirmations.
- Take a break and make your health your number one priority.

I hope that helps.
Jasmin x