Here is a post that Eric Stevenson very kindly offered to share with through the clouds about maintaing a positive attitude through illness which I definitely agree with! My negative attitude about relapsing ended up actually causing my relapse and I'm sure more of you can understand that. Ever since my own recovery and through reading different books I have become very pro positive thinking and I think it can change your life dramatically and especially help you recover from your eating disorder. Here's what Eric has to say....
Individuals struggling with any kind of serious illness are prone to anxiety and depression. These are difficult problems to overcome, and can sometimes even cause enough stress to exacerbate the original illness. The good news is that the reverse is also true – having a positive attitude has been shown to help with recovery and mitigate the side effects of both illness and treatment. Staying positive is a difficult but important goal when faced with sickness.
There is no single mindset or approach that will work for everyone. Some people may take comfort in learning everything there is to know about their condition so that they can plan in advance. Others might find this amount of information overwhelming, and instead prefer to take it one day at a time. One man who followed the former strategy is popular science author Stephen Jay Gould. He was diagnosed with mesothelioma, an aggressive form of cancer that usually has a survival rate of 9 to 12 months. But he didn’t let himself be discouraged by that figure, instead focusing on the fact that his otherwise good health and positive attitude gave him the best chance to survive. He lived with mesothelioma symptoms for another 20 years before passing away from an unrelated cancer.
This is not to say that Gould’s positive attitude is the only thing that helped him beat the odds. Rather, his famous essay “The Median Isn’t the Message” is an example of one man finding hope in an unusual place: statistics. His story illustrates the uniqueness of the human spirit in finding ways to remain positive in the face of a frightening situation. Even for those facing illnesses far less immediately threatening than the symptoms of mesothelioma, maintaining a good attitude can have real, tangible effects on day-to-day life.
Tuesday, 22 February 2011
Monday, 21 February 2011
Eating Disorder Awareness Week...
Heyyy everyone...
So, today is the start of eating disorder awareness week and luckily half term for me (yay!) so I will try to write a new post everyday this week.
I just wanted to tell you all about New Looks new Beat watches. As you know I am a Beat young ambassador and this Saturday I went to New Look with some other people from Beat to kind of launch the watches and have some photos taken to start promoting them. They are £2 and the money goes towards Beat so if you haven't already...go and buy one!
I have lots of things planned for my blog this week including a guest blog but for today I'd just like to share a recovery analogy with you from the book 'The Rules of Normal Eating'....
Why is change so slow?
"Picture a hill of damp sand with a marble on top. If you give the marble a nudge in one direction, it will roll down the hill, forming a slight groove in the sand. Each time the marble gets nudged in the same direction, it will slide into the groove, and plunge downward.
Now suppose you decide that you want the marble to roll down the other side of the sand hill. You'll have to place the marble on top of the hill and push it in the other direction because if you don't, it will slip automatically into its old groove. If you push it only once or twice in the new direction, its inclination will still be to return to return to its old groove. So initially, you'll need to push the marble in the new direction over and over until a new groove is carved out. Eventually when your old groove and the new groove are about even, the marble will have the potential to roll either way. To ensure that it will always go in the new direction, you'll have to keep gently nudging it until the old groove fills up with sand and the new groove is deeply carved. Then the marble will naturally fall into the new groove every time.
Translating this marble analogy into behavioral terms, we have to repeat a new behavior more often than an old behavior in order to have the new one become a habit and the old one disappear. Behaviorists call this process conditioning because it conditions or prompts us to behave in certain ways. Of course most people are not linear learners and don't go straight from point A to point B. We try a new way, revert back to the old way for a while, then tentatively try the new way again. We're inconsistent, then we wonder why we're not changing quickly enough, after all our hard work.
Think back to the marble on the sand hill. What would happen if sometimes you pushed it one way and sometimes you pushed it the other? The old and new grooves would stay about even right? That's what happens when you try a new behavior or way of thinking, then return to the old action or thought. For example, if food makes you anxious, you try pushing yourself to eat when you're moderately hungry. Succeeding you feel proud of overcoming your fear. But the next time you feel hunger pangs, you ignore them and put off eating until you are nearly sick. Or you triumphantly pass by the jar of chocolate kisses on your worker's desk one day, only to find yourself sneaking a handful the next. Alternating like this for days, weeks, months, or even years causes you to feel as if you never change even though you're doing things right a good deal of the time. You prevent yourself from changing by reinforcing both the new and the old, achieving a behavioral draw.
Returning to the marble analogy, we could say that every time you revert to an old behavior, you're deepening the first groove,while every time you push yourself to practice a new behavior, you're not only carving the second groove more deeply, but you're allowing sand to erase the first one. Similarly, if you continue to press onward with a new behavior, the neural pathway in your brain that elicited the old behavior will eventually fade away."
Hope you're all ok
Love Jasmin
So, today is the start of eating disorder awareness week and luckily half term for me (yay!) so I will try to write a new post everyday this week.
I just wanted to tell you all about New Looks new Beat watches. As you know I am a Beat young ambassador and this Saturday I went to New Look with some other people from Beat to kind of launch the watches and have some photos taken to start promoting them. They are £2 and the money goes towards Beat so if you haven't already...go and buy one!
I have lots of things planned for my blog this week including a guest blog but for today I'd just like to share a recovery analogy with you from the book 'The Rules of Normal Eating'....
Why is change so slow?
"Picture a hill of damp sand with a marble on top. If you give the marble a nudge in one direction, it will roll down the hill, forming a slight groove in the sand. Each time the marble gets nudged in the same direction, it will slide into the groove, and plunge downward.
Now suppose you decide that you want the marble to roll down the other side of the sand hill. You'll have to place the marble on top of the hill and push it in the other direction because if you don't, it will slip automatically into its old groove. If you push it only once or twice in the new direction, its inclination will still be to return to return to its old groove. So initially, you'll need to push the marble in the new direction over and over until a new groove is carved out. Eventually when your old groove and the new groove are about even, the marble will have the potential to roll either way. To ensure that it will always go in the new direction, you'll have to keep gently nudging it until the old groove fills up with sand and the new groove is deeply carved. Then the marble will naturally fall into the new groove every time.
Translating this marble analogy into behavioral terms, we have to repeat a new behavior more often than an old behavior in order to have the new one become a habit and the old one disappear. Behaviorists call this process conditioning because it conditions or prompts us to behave in certain ways. Of course most people are not linear learners and don't go straight from point A to point B. We try a new way, revert back to the old way for a while, then tentatively try the new way again. We're inconsistent, then we wonder why we're not changing quickly enough, after all our hard work.
Think back to the marble on the sand hill. What would happen if sometimes you pushed it one way and sometimes you pushed it the other? The old and new grooves would stay about even right? That's what happens when you try a new behavior or way of thinking, then return to the old action or thought. For example, if food makes you anxious, you try pushing yourself to eat when you're moderately hungry. Succeeding you feel proud of overcoming your fear. But the next time you feel hunger pangs, you ignore them and put off eating until you are nearly sick. Or you triumphantly pass by the jar of chocolate kisses on your worker's desk one day, only to find yourself sneaking a handful the next. Alternating like this for days, weeks, months, or even years causes you to feel as if you never change even though you're doing things right a good deal of the time. You prevent yourself from changing by reinforcing both the new and the old, achieving a behavioral draw.
Returning to the marble analogy, we could say that every time you revert to an old behavior, you're deepening the first groove,while every time you push yourself to practice a new behavior, you're not only carving the second groove more deeply, but you're allowing sand to erase the first one. Similarly, if you continue to press onward with a new behavior, the neural pathway in your brain that elicited the old behavior will eventually fade away."
Hope you're all ok
Love Jasmin
Tuesday, 1 February 2011
Another... Recovery quote!
I do love recovery quotes...(in case you hadn't noticed). I always found they were able to give me hope or a bigger feeling of courage when I was feeling low.
I just came across this one in my recovery flash cards which I have a massive pile of and I think it's a really good way of looking at the recovery process...
"Very slowly and carefully, you let go of the log and practise floating. When you start to sink you grab back on. Then you let go of the log and practise treading water, and when you get tired, hold on once again. After a while, you practise swimming around the log, twice, ten times, twenty times, a hundred times, until you gain the strength and confidence you need to swim to shore. Only then do you completely let go of the log."
Hope you're all ok
Love Jasmin
I just came across this one in my recovery flash cards which I have a massive pile of and I think it's a really good way of looking at the recovery process...
"Very slowly and carefully, you let go of the log and practise floating. When you start to sink you grab back on. Then you let go of the log and practise treading water, and when you get tired, hold on once again. After a while, you practise swimming around the log, twice, ten times, twenty times, a hundred times, until you gain the strength and confidence you need to swim to shore. Only then do you completely let go of the log."
Hope you're all ok
Love Jasmin
Sunday, 23 January 2011
Recovery is not and never will be perfect....so don't try to make it.
Heyy, Sorry it's been so long since I've posted anything. Life's been pretty busy. I guess I should start by saying Happy New Year! I hope it's brought lots of new hope for you all and you haven't been too strict or pressurizing on yourself with your resolutions. This is actually the first year I've not set myself any resolutions involving my weight or recovery. Things aren't completely back to normal since my relapse and I thought about a resolution to overcome those things but then I realized I'm just setting myself up to feel bad if I don't manage to do it. I'm better off not having any expectations and taking each day as it comes and giving myself time rather than pressurizing myself to suddenly change just because it's a new year. Yes it's a good time to put things behind you and maybe see it as a chance to start again but be gentle with yourself and don't punish yourself if things aren't changing, recovery is still a process and a new year won't speed that up. That brings me on to the topic of this post.....
One thing I'm sure we're all aware of is the constant ups and downs of recovery. It's a constant battle and you forever feel like you move forwards and then you take a step back again. Sometimes you even feel like you're right back at the beginning again or getting nowhere. I just want to remind you that that is ok. It's part of recovery and no-one expects anything else. RECOVERY IS NOT PERFECT.
More importantly because it's something I have needed to learn to accept since being recovered is that even once you're recovered, you're relationship with food won't always be perfect and there may be bad days. I became so focused on not allowing myself to lapse and having "perfect" months where I didn't purge that months and months into being recovered when I had a bad day it triggered my relapse. It was one bad day but instead of accepting it and trying to move past it I beat myself up because I had broken my perfect no purging streak which just caused so many more problems. I felt that one bad day meant my eating disorder was back and I just gave into it when I could have fought it.
The more you try to make recovery perfect the harder it will be when you have a bad day, and there will be bad days because no-one recovers overnight. Instead, prepare yourself for those bad days, have a plan of action for when you fall, what can you do to help yourself get back up again. Remember that a bad day or even a bad week or month does not mean you aren't making progress. They are just speed bumps slowing you down but you are still heading in the same direction.
Every time I went back to my dietitian after doing really well and then having a bad week or day he said it was a good thing because it raised more issues to deal with. And the more you can deal with in recovery and the more you learn about your eating disorder the better things will be when you are out of treatment.
So accept recovery as a journey full of unexpected turns. You never know what each day is going to bring but whatever it is be kind to yourself and see each day as a new step forwards because even the bad days have a purpose. No matter what you are always in control of choosing to keep moving forwards and one day you will get there.
Hope you're all ok
Love Jasmin
One thing I'm sure we're all aware of is the constant ups and downs of recovery. It's a constant battle and you forever feel like you move forwards and then you take a step back again. Sometimes you even feel like you're right back at the beginning again or getting nowhere. I just want to remind you that that is ok. It's part of recovery and no-one expects anything else. RECOVERY IS NOT PERFECT.
More importantly because it's something I have needed to learn to accept since being recovered is that even once you're recovered, you're relationship with food won't always be perfect and there may be bad days. I became so focused on not allowing myself to lapse and having "perfect" months where I didn't purge that months and months into being recovered when I had a bad day it triggered my relapse. It was one bad day but instead of accepting it and trying to move past it I beat myself up because I had broken my perfect no purging streak which just caused so many more problems. I felt that one bad day meant my eating disorder was back and I just gave into it when I could have fought it.
The more you try to make recovery perfect the harder it will be when you have a bad day, and there will be bad days because no-one recovers overnight. Instead, prepare yourself for those bad days, have a plan of action for when you fall, what can you do to help yourself get back up again. Remember that a bad day or even a bad week or month does not mean you aren't making progress. They are just speed bumps slowing you down but you are still heading in the same direction.
Every time I went back to my dietitian after doing really well and then having a bad week or day he said it was a good thing because it raised more issues to deal with. And the more you can deal with in recovery and the more you learn about your eating disorder the better things will be when you are out of treatment.
So accept recovery as a journey full of unexpected turns. You never know what each day is going to bring but whatever it is be kind to yourself and see each day as a new step forwards because even the bad days have a purpose. No matter what you are always in control of choosing to keep moving forwards and one day you will get there.
Hope you're all ok
Love Jasmin
Tuesday, 28 December 2010
"The morning sun is shining just for you"
"Difficulties arise in the lives of us all. What is most important is dealing with the hard times, coping with the changes, and getting through to the other side where the sun is still shining just for you...
It takes a strong person to deal with tough times and difficult choices. But you are a strong person.
It takes courage. But you possess the inner courage to see you through.
It takes being an active participant in your life. But you are in the driver's seat, and you can determine the direction you want tomorrow to go in...
Try not to lose sight of the one thing that is constant, beautiful and true:
Everything will be fine - and it will turn out that way because of the special kind of person you are.
So...beginning today and lasting a life time through - hang in there, and don't be afraid to feel like the morning sun is shining...just for you." (Douglas Pagels)
It takes a strong person to deal with tough times and difficult choices. But you are a strong person.
It takes courage. But you possess the inner courage to see you through.
It takes being an active participant in your life. But you are in the driver's seat, and you can determine the direction you want tomorrow to go in...
Try not to lose sight of the one thing that is constant, beautiful and true:
Everything will be fine - and it will turn out that way because of the special kind of person you are.
So...beginning today and lasting a life time through - hang in there, and don't be afraid to feel like the morning sun is shining...just for you." (Douglas Pagels)
Saturday, 25 December 2010
Take a day off from your ed!
Merry Christmas!! Hope you all have a good day and get lots of nice things :)
If you're anything like I have been in the past then I'm sure all you want for christmas is to be free of your eating disorder. Santa might not be able to magically give us that but that doesn't mean it has to ruin our day.
Take a day off from it! That might be easier said than done but it can be done!
Of coure this comes with consequences after today such as possible excessive exercise, restriction etc to make up for it but if it means you enjoy time with your family and friends for one day then thats the most important thing.
If you're a restrictive eater then I'm not saying stuff your face but allow yourself to enjoy the foods you want to eat (if you're family know then its probably the best present you can give them, to let them see you eat and enjoy christmas dinner).
If you end up binging which I know is a risk on christmas day don't beat yourself up about it. Half the world end up binging on christmas day!! You won't suddenly become obese so don't panic and let it ruin your day.
If you're a purger then try your best to put it off for today because you know it will just put a downer on your day when you could be having fun with your family.
When you think about it christmas dinner isn't the scariest of meals...you can fill your plate with vegetables, and turkey is one of the lowest fat/calorie meats you can eat.
If you're really worried about eating too much then maybe try to have a plan in your mind for the day. Are you going to eat when you want to or stick to a more structured plan of breakfast, lunch, dinner?
Distract yourself! Keep yourself busy. I'm currently doing just that by writing this...I've had breakfast, opened presents :) and now I'm distracting myself before lunch.
Focus on having fun and stop worrying about what might or might not happen. You deserve to have fun and enjoy today as much as everyone else and food does not have the power to change that!
Stay strong, it's just one day!
Love Jasmin
If you're anything like I have been in the past then I'm sure all you want for christmas is to be free of your eating disorder. Santa might not be able to magically give us that but that doesn't mean it has to ruin our day.
Take a day off from it! That might be easier said than done but it can be done!
Of coure this comes with consequences after today such as possible excessive exercise, restriction etc to make up for it but if it means you enjoy time with your family and friends for one day then thats the most important thing.
If you're a restrictive eater then I'm not saying stuff your face but allow yourself to enjoy the foods you want to eat (if you're family know then its probably the best present you can give them, to let them see you eat and enjoy christmas dinner).
If you end up binging which I know is a risk on christmas day don't beat yourself up about it. Half the world end up binging on christmas day!! You won't suddenly become obese so don't panic and let it ruin your day.
If you're a purger then try your best to put it off for today because you know it will just put a downer on your day when you could be having fun with your family.
When you think about it christmas dinner isn't the scariest of meals...you can fill your plate with vegetables, and turkey is one of the lowest fat/calorie meats you can eat.
If you're really worried about eating too much then maybe try to have a plan in your mind for the day. Are you going to eat when you want to or stick to a more structured plan of breakfast, lunch, dinner?
Distract yourself! Keep yourself busy. I'm currently doing just that by writing this...I've had breakfast, opened presents :) and now I'm distracting myself before lunch.
Focus on having fun and stop worrying about what might or might not happen. You deserve to have fun and enjoy today as much as everyone else and food does not have the power to change that!
Stay strong, it's just one day!
Love Jasmin
Monday, 6 December 2010
Christmas exercise programme!
First of all I just realised that I had already done a post on the rules of normal eating so sorry if you read it twice.
Moving on, it's nearly christmas...wooo! I LOVE christmas.
Of course christmas can raise a lot of issues when it comes to food, family etc. For me food has never been the main issue at christmas. For some reason the last couple of years no matter how bad my eating has been leading up to christmas (which is usually bad because october to december for some reason seem to be the months I struggle most)I always seem to relax about food a bit more as soon as its christmas. I'll admit this has sometimes lead to a panic after christmas because of wanting to lose weight but the main thing is I refuse to let food ruin my favourite time of year.
I think part of why it becomes less of an issue is because I tell myself I'm not going to worry. I wish I could do that all year round! I'm off from college so I don't worry about having to wear a leotard for a while. I know that if I try to control food it is going to ruin my christmas as well as my families and with so much food being around I am more likely to binge and purge rather than restrict which could possibly cause weight gain anyway. If I actually allow myself to eat what I want I am less likely to binge and won't actually want to eat all the time. Of course I still have issues over christmas and my relationship with food doesn't miraculously fix itself for a month but I seem to focus less on losing weight and more on relaxing and getting through christmas without constantly worrying about my ED.
However, one issue I do have over christmas is exercise....
As a dance student I'm used to exercising a lot. So of course I want to exercise over christmas still because I need to keep my fitness up. But then there's the fact that it's easier to not worry about food if I'm exercising. Over exercising is never a problem for me except for christmas so this year I decided I should prepare myself for this problem in advance and I thought it might help some of you to.
I'm going to make an exercise timetable. I'm going to decide what type of exercise I'm going to do on what days and how long for and make sure I give myself rest days.
Hopefully I'll be able to stick to this and not get obsessed.
Hope you're all ok and not worrying too much about christmas
Love Jasmin
Moving on, it's nearly christmas...wooo! I LOVE christmas.
Of course christmas can raise a lot of issues when it comes to food, family etc. For me food has never been the main issue at christmas. For some reason the last couple of years no matter how bad my eating has been leading up to christmas (which is usually bad because october to december for some reason seem to be the months I struggle most)I always seem to relax about food a bit more as soon as its christmas. I'll admit this has sometimes lead to a panic after christmas because of wanting to lose weight but the main thing is I refuse to let food ruin my favourite time of year.
I think part of why it becomes less of an issue is because I tell myself I'm not going to worry. I wish I could do that all year round! I'm off from college so I don't worry about having to wear a leotard for a while. I know that if I try to control food it is going to ruin my christmas as well as my families and with so much food being around I am more likely to binge and purge rather than restrict which could possibly cause weight gain anyway. If I actually allow myself to eat what I want I am less likely to binge and won't actually want to eat all the time. Of course I still have issues over christmas and my relationship with food doesn't miraculously fix itself for a month but I seem to focus less on losing weight and more on relaxing and getting through christmas without constantly worrying about my ED.
However, one issue I do have over christmas is exercise....
As a dance student I'm used to exercising a lot. So of course I want to exercise over christmas still because I need to keep my fitness up. But then there's the fact that it's easier to not worry about food if I'm exercising. Over exercising is never a problem for me except for christmas so this year I decided I should prepare myself for this problem in advance and I thought it might help some of you to.
I'm going to make an exercise timetable. I'm going to decide what type of exercise I'm going to do on what days and how long for and make sure I give myself rest days.
Hopefully I'll be able to stick to this and not get obsessed.
Hope you're all ok and not worrying too much about christmas
Love Jasmin
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
